how can i stop feeling the pressure and depression?

Question by ♥♥♥: how can i stop feeling the pressure and depression?
since i moved here in scandinavia-norway to be with my husband 1 and half years ago, i just have to live with the constant pressure his mother was putting on me, shes been going to our house and keep bugging me to get a job though hubby says he earns enough and its not needed but i still feel the pressure.. i would really love to work but problem is this stupid place has not much job opportunities for immigrants like me as in ZERO specially if you couldnt speak their stupid language fluently.. english-speakers are not very vital here so im studying their very difficult and stupid language right now but still to no avail. employment agencies wouldn’t call very depressed because of this and seriously thinking of leaving this place and my husband and go back to where i came from. at least there i would feel useful, i know i can get a job and i dont have to deal with unnecessary pressure from my friggin mother in law. i hate that stupid b*tch so much.

Best answer:

Answer by Joe F: Aesthetically Challenged
Have your husband intervene…sounds like the MIL needs to be put in her place. Best person to run interference would be her son.

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Question by ♥♥♥: Does your mother in law require and bug you to find a job?
I moved here in Norway to be with my husband. I had to learn their difficult language first before I can find any decent job so Im attending the language school for a year now for free. I feel like my mother in law thinks Im a burden to her son cuz just after a few months I arrived here,shes been bugging me to find a job everytime she sees me. We do not live with her in the same house and she is definitely not feeding me. I have been married almost 2 years now, no baby yet and my wonderful husband has never required me to find work cuz he said its my choice and he is earning enough. Its not like Im not doing anything cuz I have inquired in the employment agencies already and I havent received a call yet at all. So while going in school,Ive been working online for a year now, earn about 50 dollars a month, not much I know but its better than nothin. The funny thing is, she has not work very much too when shes younger and retired early. Is it her business if I choose to stay home or not?

Best answer:

Answer by ladylady4470
Your husband needs to tell her he doesn’t not mind if you work or not and to let it go. Now if your husband has been saying things behind your back like he would like you to get a job and you wont then I can see where she would be saying things. Sounds like you got the language down just fine you could always take a part time job doing fast food or whatever. And no 50 dollars a month doesn’t cover anything in this day an age.

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8 comments on “how can i stop feeling the pressure and depression?

  1. Have your husband tell your mother-in-law to butt out. It’s really none of her business and he makes the case that you don’t need a job. There are jobs you can get working on your computer with companies over the internet if things really get desparate. You just need to check in on them to see which ones are valid.

  2. If your husband is alright with your life and how things are going, then no, it’s none of her business and he needs to tell her to please stop burdening you with unnecessary guilt although that’s not easy either. My mom is the same way about my brother’s wife. Nags all the time about my sister in law not working. I finally told her that it wasn’t any of her business. Come to find out, they owe her about $ 8000 so it is her business and I finally told her I didn’t blame her, but she needed to tell them, not me.

    If you don’t owe her money in any way, it is none of her business.

  3. I think she’s looking out for her son. If you aren’t working, then he’s supporting himself, you and your household. That’s a big burden and one that’s not fair.

    If I had a grown son and a DIL that didn’t work, I’d be concerned too. He says he’s making enough money, but at what cost?

    Is he working more hours then he would be if you contributed also?

    I think his mother has cause for concern. You have NO children and there is NO reason for you to stay home.

    I know language might be a barrior, but try looking at something where your native language is commonly spoken. You can even work in the Airport or in travel assisting in your native language speakers.

    I do think your MIL has cause for concern. She’s worried that you’re working her son to death and you’re not lifting a finger. It’s a huge burden physically and emotionally for your husband.

    Despite his age and martial status, your MIL does not want to see her son unhappy or become ill because he’s working to support you, especially since you are capable of working for yourself.

    Your husband might be OK supporting you now, but eventually it’s going to get to him. He might start resenting you.

    Chances are, your husband says he’s OK with you not working. He probably feels he’s “suppose to support you”, so he does it.

    That does not mean he wants you to stay home. I’m sure if you sat him down, he’d like the extra financial help you could gain by working.

    Maybe your MIL senses a change in your husband that you don’t. After all, she gave birth to him, raised him and knew his personality before you came along. Perhaps there is a really change and a real cause for concern.



  5. Is it her business? I would say no. If you are financially sound and your husband doesn’t mind if you stay home, then stay home if you want. However, I do not know if it is a cultural thing with your mother-in-law to be in your business like. It may be. Talk to your husband about and see what he thinks on the matter. He is going to have to be the one to back her off.

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