Does your mother in law require and bug you to find a job?

Question by ♥♥♥: Does your mother in law require and bug you to find a job?
I moved here in Norway to be with my husband. I had to learn their difficult language first before I can find any decent job so Im attending the language school for a year now for free. I feel like my mother in law thinks Im a burden to her son cuz just after a few months I arrived here,shes been bugging me to find a job everytime she sees me. We do not live with her in the same house and she is definitely not feeding me. I have been married almost 2 years now, no baby yet and my wonderful husband has never required me to find work cuz he said its my choice and he is earning enough. Its not like Im not doing anything cuz I have inquired in the employment agencies already and I havent received a call yet at all. So while going in school,Ive been working online for a year now, earn about 50 dollars a month, not much I know but its better than nothin. The funny thing is, she has not work very much too when shes younger and retired early. Is it her business if I choose to stay home or not?

Best answer:

Answer by NolaD
Your husband should man up and tell his mother that the economics in your home are none of her business.

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Question by ♥♥♥: my marriage is great except for his annoying, nosy mother?
I moved here in Norway to be with my husband. I had to learn their difficult language first before I can find any decent job so Im attending the language school for a year now for free. I feel like my mother in law thinks Im a burden to her son cuz just after a few months I arrived here,shes been bugging me to find a job everytime she sees me. We do not live with her in the same house and she is definitely not feeding me. I have been married almost 2 years now, no baby yet and my wonderful husband has never required me to find work cuz he said its my choice and he is earning enough. Its not like Im not doing anything cuz I have inquired in the employment agencies already and I havent received a call yet at all. So while going in school,Ive been working online for a year now, earn about 50 dollars a month, not much I know but its better than nothin. The funny thing is, she has not work very much too when shes younger and retired early. Is it her business if I choose to stay home or not?
I like giving 10 pts for best answer and Im not that content with the response I got the last time.

Best answer:

Answer by Sydney G
i am not sure what to tell you so i guess you have to figure this one out on your own

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13 comments on “Does your mother in law require and bug you to find a job?

  1. You do what you think is right ,If does not want you to work don’t. If you can not make ends meet, then get a job, but if you are comfortable with your financial condition do what you think ! Your business, is you and your Husband.

  2. My Mother in Law is very nosy and controlling, she pretends to be kind in front of her sons but really is a nasty b—-.
    She has never really worked a day in her life, except to clean here and there and never very well. She cannot cook anything and all the food she makes you want to spit out.
    Everytime she calls she asks if I am working? What am I doing? She is as nosy as they come. Now I simply hand the phone over to my husband and never, ever, answer her questions. Its how she controls her sons, by interrogating them on the phone.
    My suggestion is not to answer any of her questions with any information. If she asks direct ones, tell her its none of her business. Its what I should have done many years ago, but I wanted to be liked by her and be kind. Now I realize that no amount of kindness would stop the questions.

  3. I would ask her right to her face why does she think that you should work? If she is rude enough to push you, then push right back. Sometimes that’s the only thing people like her understand.

  4. I went through that with my mother-in-law as well. It was always “did she get a job?” every time she called. I do not get it either. Stop taking offense and worrying so much about what she thinks. It is going to take time for her to see how much her son loves you and she is not going to stop this line of questioning any time soon. My mother in law finally stopped when I had a baby. One day I when she asked I turned around and told her “her father works a great deal and we believe she should always have one parent there for her.” But it was relentless until that happened. Give the lady a chance to show you her good side. My mother in law is from another culture as well and it took a lot of years for us to become comfortable with each other. Good luck.

  5. Honestly, the best way to deal with nosey mothers when you first get married is to nip it in the bud immediately. If everytime she comes over she is bombarding you with questions as to your employment I was simply say “Your son, my husband and provider has made it clear that working is not necessary right now, it’s more important I focus on learning Norweigen so I can find a job that doesn’t just contribute to the household but also makes me feel good about myself. UNTIL I educate myself on your language, let me say in english “Stay out of our affairs”.”

    That’s all you have to say.

  6. It is definitely none of her business. Your husband should tell her that she was invited to the wedding not the marriage. I see that your husband is not asking you to find work, I applaud him for that and as for you, try to keep your distance from her and ask your husband to speak with her. He should tell her that she needs to stay out of it(in a respectful way) but if she continues to meddle, just tell her less as possible. Do what makes u to happy and everything will be fine. Hope this works and please do not stress over this just continue to know that your husband loves you and is happy the way things are.

  7. First, don’t get preggers…. not for a loooonnngggg time. You’ll be trapped for sure.

    Secondly, If his mama is on your case it must be because he is sharing…. ask him politely to stop. He needs to tell her that her questions and comments are “inappropriate”. See, she figures since she wiped his butt when he was small, he is still her baby… all moms are like that with their sons–all. And it stops only when he doesn’t share with her… and it is now Wrong!!! for him to share. He is now a husband, and YOU are now his first priority, not her.

  8. its not her business but you married her baby and if she wasn’t nagging you about that it would be something else. on husband number 2 and mother in law number 2 just as bad as number 1 was. i would simply remind her that when the day comes to put her in a home or let you move in with the 2 of you her negative behavior she is establishing now will guarantee her the nursing home and if she keeps it up it wont be a good one and when you have children you will be the one deciding who they visit and how often. i have to do an edit cuz i just have to say this. when she nags at you let your husband know it upsets you soooo much that you just cant be romatic with him while worrying with all the pressure she is putting on you to find employment. after a few weeks without sex he will realize that either mom shuts her trap or you will be continuing to shut your legs. you will win cuz your husband loves you and most likely loves to make love with you, and if his mommas input is preventing him from being able to do this…he will have to stop his momma from having input.

  9. I would tell her politely, to rack off, as its no of her business wether you are working or not, she sounds like a busy body to me.If you are happy with the way you and your husband, are going then don’t worry about her, just worry about you.

  10. you can talk until you’re blue in the face. your husband is going to have to draw the line with your mother as to how much she is involved in y’all’s marriage.

    you need to share your frustration with him in a constructive way. let him know you appreciate all she’s done, but explain how intrusive she is in y’all’s personal life.

    just because you live with her, doesnt give her a license to be the 3rd partner.

    by the way, i would work with him to get “our” place and move out.

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